When it is, it is

Hi everyone! I'm not dead. I am, however, a single man once again. The last ten months (wow!) have been an adventure, full of ups and downs (mostly ups, to be honest), but the time had come for us to move on with our lives, and with no real hope for a future together, we are now back to the level of friends.

I'm pretty sad about the whole thing. I know it's for the best, and I do feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, but still, losing someone (warning, gay alert) to hug, kiss, and cuddle with (among other things) as well as talk to every day about even the mundane things is a pretty hard loss to take. At it's best, it was an amazing relationship, one I'll never forget and I honestly hope and pray that she stays a part of my life. I told her earlier this week that I hope I can someday invite her to my wedding...and I meant it. I'll bounce back soon enough, and some people are saying that I already seem like a different person for the better. As an aside, I'm sure my bank account will appreciate the break in the action, as things have been a little tight for a long time because of my stupid desire to pay for everything and create as many awesome memories as possible.

Just to sum it all up, I'm so glad that I got to have a real adult relationship where I was an actual adult and not just trying to act like one. I mean, I moved out, have a nice (enough) car, take pretty good care of myself, and I don't feel like the failings in our relationship were anyone's fault, just the situation (which most of you know) was not a good one. I can try and move on now, and find someone to spend my life with that can give me all of the things that I want and need in a relationship...there were just certain things that I would not and could not get! I like recognition and attention because I'm a shameless attention whore and when the other person has a totally separate life that they have to maintain it makes things really difficult. That's all I really want to say on the matter, but if you care, feel free to call/msg me and I'll go into more details. I do want to take this chance to thank her for all the wonderful time/company we've shared over the past 10 months and let her know that there are no hard feelings on my end over the end of our relationship. I'll always remember the times we shared together fondly, and I hope she does too.

So I'm kind of just mourning the whole thing right now...but as I said, I'll be jumping back on my feet as soon as I can, looking for the next big thing to come into my life. I know I said I was going to revisit the most important post in this blog's history soon, and I will, but I just had to write about the "end of an era." Keep me in your prayers. Oh, and one last thing to all my friends out there that have missed me during this time period, since I was spending time with the wife and all...

I'M BACK NOW!

Songs of the Second:
Death Cab for Cutie - Someday You Will Be Loved
Ludo - Love Me Dead (can you believe these guys made it big...Sara Milano era FTW)
Mae - Brink of Disaster
Relient K - Deathbed (I've been in a religious mood lately)