Well I have a few minutes before I need to jump in the shower and kickstart the World of Work weekend (4 days over 30 hrs, including Easter), so mise update the blog right. I'm in a routine right now. For the first time in a long time, I wouldn't call it a rut. My sleep schedule is fairly regular, even when compared to the rest of humanity. I do my school/work/relaxation thing and it's pretty good, although I can't help but feel like something is missing. I even have a little money to my name, meaning that the days of trying to make it through a week on ten bux are passed it seems. Work is fairly tiring and boring but I enjoy the people that I work with and that's good enough for me to make it through the day.

I still game pretty regularly, trying to draft IRL at SS once a week as well as Magic Online or whatever, along with a steady dose of World of Warcraft, which is insanely frush. Like I said, not very exciting, but I think turning down the scumbaggery for a while isn't a bad thing at all, even if it does take away some of the excitement of life.

I came to the realization that I can't live the lifestyle that some of my friends can (like King for example). I think that was a rather big part of my problems in the recent past...that is, I was trying to be something that I'm incapable of being. For example, I can't bet sports or play poker for a living because it doesn't offer any structure and I'm not disciplined enough to do it properly (again, that takes away much of the excitement) and I simply don't have someone there to bail me out when things take a turn for the worst. I need to be REQUIRED to do things for me to do them, just an unfortunate aspect of my character that I really don't have under control at all. Self-motivation was never really a strong suit for me, which explains the whole "not living up to potential" stigma that's followed me pretty much since third grade. On the plus side, if I DO have the structure of a regular job or school or whatever, I do it fairly well since I know that I have to do it in order to survive. Do I still want more in my life? Yes, undoubtedly. Am I willing to make the changes in my lifestyle to achieve more? We'll soon find out, as I have some big plans for the next 6 months or so.


Songs of the Second:
Tonic - Open Up Your Eyes
Cherry Monroe - Satellites